Who's entitled to gifts? Party etiquette for guests and hosts

I heard something that bewildered me today.

My friend told me that she was invited to an apartment-warming party. The party hosts had created a registry for the party and had included expensive items like vacuum cleaners.

I asked my friend for the host names and address so I could go to the party and tell them how ridiculous they were.

Okay, I didn't do that. But I was tempted to do so because I've never heard of such a thing.

I am writing this Hub because I've been thinking about this lately. I had an engagement party the other weekend and had a great time, but was surprised to see a stack of gifts. I had assumed they were wedding gifts and was grateful to have them until one of my guests approached me and told me I needed to update my registry because people had purchased so many items off of it.

"Why?" I asked. "You already bought me my wedding gift."

Then she told me that brides have engagement parties to get more gifts. I think she could tell I was a little confused, so she proceeded to explain that brides and grooms will hold as many parties as possible (multiple engagement parties, bridal showers, bachelorette parties, etc.) to get more gifts.

I was disgusted and included a note in my thank-you cards that I considered the gifts that I received to be for the wedding and that I don't expect any additional presents.

When I heard about the apartment-warming registry, that's what took the cake. It wasn't even a house-warming party (how many apartment-warming parties have these people had?). To boot, the registry was full of items that weren't exactly cheap; MAYBE having some small items on the registry would be more acceptable to me, but this was just silly. I would refuse to go to the party.

I would also say it's different if people bring gifts of their own accord. It's a nice gesture if the hosts have done a lot of planning for the party. However, However, I don't like it when people are expected to bring gifts for something other than a birthday, a wedding, a housewarming, or other basic celebrations. To me, this changes the whole point of a party; I like to gather with friends and family, but this expectation really does make it seem like they are having a party just to get gifts. Putting together a registry is a pretty substantial hint.

Maybe you might find advice elsewhere that is contrary to what I am saying. However, I stick to what I believe!