How to get over a break-up

My previous relationship was a long one. I was a very happy girl and things seemed to work out well for me.

The relationship was also a hard one, though. There were lots of difficult times and situations that eventually led to our break-up nearly two years later... not the longest length of time with another, but still long enough to hurt a lot.

I was not very good at being broken up with someone, especially when they lived nearby and I could see them all the time... which I did. We had already broken up three times before but had gotten back together again soon after. This time felt like that would not happen again.

He called me a week or so after it happened and wanted to talk. We met up and it was the rockiest meeting we ever had together. At that point I didn't know what to expect in the future.

At this time I had also started hanging out with another guy in a way that should have been just as a friend but was a little more. This was a mistake; I should have waited before I had figured things out with my ex. I thought it would help me get over things faster. Instead I just confused myself and was unfair to my new friend.

So I ended up hanging out with both boys over the next few months. And though my new acquaintance was always perfectly kind to me and did everything I could ask for naturally, I was still stuck on my ex.

Every time he called and I saw his name on my cell phone screen, I felt happy. It was like things were the way they used to be when we hung out. He said he didn't want to date again but was content just to be around me. Hearing that made me content as well.

A few weeks of this, however, and I found that I was getting irritated at him just like I had before. He was doing the same things that annoyed and hurt me and suddenly I remembered why we had broken up in the first place.

It was a good realization.

Now I'm hanging out more with my new friend and still sort of talking to my ex. Only when he calls.

Make sure you have someone else whom you can talk to who is understanding of the situation and your feelings and who cares about you and what happens to you. Unfortunately my ex had wreaked enough havoc over the years that by staying with him so long, I couldn't talk to my family or a lot of my friends about it because he was a subject they cared not to speak of.

Basically just be able to rant when you want. Whether to another or on a piece of paper, this is a good way to sort out your feelings and vent out extreme emotion. And it's always ok to cry (alright, I did this a lot in front of my ex, though I don't know if this accomplished anything positive).

I also made sure to keep busy throughout all of this. I worked a lot (this was during the summer) and partook in various summer activities. I tried a lot of new things and went to different places.

It feels pretty crappy at first. But trust me. Give it time (the amount of time depends on the situation, of course) and things will fall into place. For me it took nearly three months... but it came to be.