Don't let a*holes ruin your day (updated!)

I've only been living in the city for slightly more than a month, and I can tell you what, there are a lot more a*holes around here (San Jose). I don't know if every city is like this, but it seems like everyday I get honked at when I drive, and I honestly don't know why (well, I'm not the best driver, but I hear this happens to a lot of people and not just me). People can be so rude for no apparent reason, and while that means there are plenty of opportunities to have a cruddy day, I say don't let it happen.

Today I was on the city public transit train, and an officer asked to see my ticket. I pulled out my college ID card, which acts as a pass because I pay a transit fee. He looked at it and told me it wasn't enough, so I asked why. Apparently I needed an envelope to hold it and a sticker on it. I never received either, and he said I should have, so I could get by with just a warning this time, but I would need to go back to the school and get the envelope and sticker (I suppose, I am supposed to buy a train ticket for the trip there?). That was okay, but he then proceeded to tell me that it was my responsibility to know that, and I asked how. He said I should have known from the forms I signed, and I told him I had signed no forms to get the card. He told me I should have seen them on other people's cards, and I told him I had just moved there, and how would I know what to look for if I didn't know it existed? I told him someone should tell the cashiers at the school that they should hand out the envelopes and stickers, but he said no, it was wholly my responsibility.

I was frustrated that he was pointing the blame at me when I didn't understand how it was my fault, but then he proceeded on to the next passenger and rolled his eyes toward me. Though I was mad enough at that, the officer asked the passenger if he had a ticket, and the guy said, "No, my mom said I could ride for free"... which was clearly poking fun at my situation, which he didn't understand because he boarded in the middle of it. How condescending!

I was upset. I couldn't believe how immature these guys were, and they were definitely at least twice my age. I had never experienced something like that, just because I had spoken up for myself and wouldn't let someone blame me for something that I didn't do. I wanted to say something to them, but my stop approached and I had to leave.

I was angry as I walked back to my apartment, huffing and stomping a little (yeah, little-kid style). I sort of stormed into the elevator lobby of my complex, where a guy was standing and talking on his cell phone. The elevator was open, so I knew he wanted to board but needed to wait because the reception disappears in the elevator. I was going to wait for him to finish because he would otherwise have to wait for the elevator to return from the top floor, where I was going. However, he gestured me inside and followed. He lost his reception, for which I apologized, but he smiled warmly and said, "It's okay. I have to go home no matter what."

On the way to the apartment, another guy smiled as we passed each other. I had cooled down completely and realized how sillly it was to be angry. There are so many kind people in the world who make the others look, well, stupid. They almost ruined my day, but thankfully I realized that it's not worth it to let someone like that affect you at all.

Just remember if you encounter rude/ignorant people:

• Keep your cool. Don't get visibly upset. If someone is being rude, just be kind back and know there's nothing you've done to be deserve what they do. It could get worse or even dangerous, and there might be a lot more to regret later if you act more outrageously. Are they worth getting in trouble for?
• Consider the person's situation: They're mostly likely ignorant and unaware, or maybe they experienced something traumatic that's making them act out... or they're just mean and stupid.
• Is it worth it? You should try to walk away from conflict, but I think it's okay to try and talk to someone if you don't think they understand what they're saying and doing. Maybe they don't see how they are affecting people. I feel better sometimes if I do what I can rationally, just so long as I don't start a fight.

Well, I encountered the mean policeman today, a day after the incident, which was great because it gave me a chance to speak my mind after having time to think about it (you know when you think of all the great comebacks later?). Who knew that he would be on the exact car I boarded on! I told him how rude and unprofessional I thought I was. I was proud because I had given him plenty of time to give his part. I didn't have anything to hide or to be ashamed of; I knew I was being rational, and everyone I talked to agreed.

However, he wouldn't let me finish my thoughts. He would interrupt and say, "You can think what you want..." What a cop-out way to live. I was happy because I live my life doing good things and volunteering; in fact, I had just come back from volunteering in a classroom. He, on the other hand, takes money from people. Who wants a job like that when you can do something more rewarding?

It turns out that my sticker to put on my card so I could ride the city transit freely was to come in the mail in a few weeks, so I couldn't pick it up. I wish he knew that so he wouldn't have told me to go back downtown to get it from the school... which required another trip on the train. Don't you think if people have the power to give citations or tickets, then they should know the rules and how things work?

Not only that, but I put in a complaint about it (I didn't name names, but I suggested to the transit company that they try to ensure employees know what they're talking about... and that they're not rude. A representative from the company called me back and apologized for his behavior.

Yay!